Monday, January 14, 2013

A Tall Skim Vanilla Friendship, Extra Dry

I realize now, writing this, that months ago I already touched on the definition of family...who makes up our family, and how we create family. A word on friendship, however.

In some cultures, we are told that friendship is what defines us: most children's television networks focus on friendship as the building block of character. Without friends we are nothing/a friend in need is a friend indeed/dogs are a man's best friend. In other cultures, friends are only temporary, not completely reliable, and nothing like blood. In those cultures, we are told that FAMILY, not friendship, is far more loyal, dependable, and permanent.  

But friendship does in fact exist in every culture. So how is it defined, then, universally? What defines the friendships you form?  What TYPE of friends do you keep? Do your friendships consist of sporadic coffee dates at Starbucks, where you attempt to catch up last week's gossip and drama? Or is it monthly dinner dates, where finally, after ordering the entree, you get down to business and discuss why you're really eating dinner together? Or is it a weekly cocktail hour to catch up, vent, and routinely sip on that French Martini you've been dying to have because work BLOWS?

Okay, so you consume with other human beings and now you're friends. Do friendships form over shared experiences? Or over shared losses? Is it okay to always call on your 'friends' when things go wrong? Or is that just one friend...and the rest you 'consume' with? How often should you communicate with your friends? When should you STOP communicating with them? Are friends those that will celebrate with you? Or are they the ones that share your tragedies and help you when you're in trouble? When do your friends stop supporting you and start reprimanding you? When do YOU stop being friends with someone?

I personally have been blessed with a countless variety of friends. Some of which I can't live with out and some of which I started my conscious life with. Some of my friends have come and gone, and others are like blood. In all cases, they are each individuals with their own definitions of what MY friendship means to them. 

Like me, many are lucky to have one of each kind of those friends: tall vanilla with easy foam...or venti, hot, with extra whip. Like me, some of us need our friends every morning, bright and early, mid-day, and at 5pm after work. We are the ones that are addicted to our friends and prefer them only one way: warm, with raw sugar, and unconditionally reliable.

Anna G & Yours Truly, circa 1994

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